My first year as a PhD student in Review

I began my PhD in June 2014. I reported to my lab not knowing what the hell was going on. Almost a year later, well, I am still alive. MU conducts a yearly progress report in which you fill out forms online outlining accomplishments, class credit hours, research, conferences, manuscripts, etc. You then submit and have a meeting with faculty representatives of the graduate college. This happened last week. I sat in that meeting answering lots of questions and thinking "wow a year has passed! I got so much accomplished yet I still felt like I should have done more." You can always follow my twitter to see my day to day feelings about my PhD and the love/hate relationship. But here are a few things I have learned my first year of my doctoral degree.

1. This is nothing like my masters.
2. My vocabulary has significantly improved in science jargon.
3. When you are with other PhD students, all you will talk about is research.
4. What is sleep?
5. I need to write. All the time. Publications don't write themselves.
6. My education loans from undergrad and masters are kicking my ass in interest rates.
7. Two words: Imposter Syndrome.
8. Conferences make everything worth it. Especially if they are in a cool location.
9. I love reading. I HATE reading journal articles- especially if they are 25+ pages.
10. This is a team effort. Reading other people's manuscripts and revising is the new norm.
11. You can't do this without the support of friends and family. Serious support system.
12. I started running. I run, because it's cheaper than therapy.
13. You have to make an effort to have a social life.
14. Your brain will feel like mush- a lot.
15. Just when you think you can't handle anymore, you can.
16. I need to schedule my comps!! Like ASAP. If I can ever get my committee in the same room.
17. I can set up an experiment: aquariums, fish, chemical solutions like nobody's business.
18. Pulling together a presentation in less than a week happens more than you think.
19. I love lab and field work. Writing, not so much.
20. Drinking rarely happens. (Most grad students would disagree)
21. Time management is like playing tetris with your schedule.
22. You recognize scientists by name from their papers and research. And think you know them.
23. My boyfriend is amazingly supportive of his stressed out, nerdy girlfriend.
24. I get asked the questions below almost every time someone learns that I am a PhD student.

Life Lately

Wooo... As I am writing this, I am sitting in a sports bra and my boyfriend's shorts he left here over Christmas. He also left his sweatshirt. That's mine as well now. My laptop is on my countertop, next to my Ipad, notecards, a stack of articles, a binder, a lab notebook, a glass of water and a box of Peeps you get the picture.

That's my life lately. I am trying to get research, school work, and presentation work finished. If anyone ever said a PhD was easy, they were freaking drunk and lying. This semester has felt like my entire Masters degree pushed into 12 weeks. I have deadlines with research fast approaching, research is brick-walling right now. I have a presentation in T-minus 13 days. It's supposed to be the first section of my dissertation thesis. Oh, and I get to present it to about 45 people in my department. And it's a 45 minute talk. The presentation is up to 32 slides right now. I jokingly/ seriously told one of my advisers (who happens to be on my committee) that I am going to take up day drinking to cope with my stress levels. I have an exam next week over 9 chapters of reproductive toxicology. I have a final exam in four weeks for my tox class that, oh yeah, my committee chair teaches. On top of all that, I have toxicity testing, histology, and proposal writing that needs to be done. My stress level is through the roof.

Despite all of that, I am doing daily workouts, working a weekend job, on the healthy smoothie kick, reading books, and periodically online shopping to cope with my stress. I have always been able to compartmentalize my stress and turn it on and off when I am finished working. In college, when I was super stressed, I would bake. The boys loved it. I made cupcakes, cakes, cookies, whatever..

Now I do a few things:

I run.
I cook.
I read- and it has to have NOTHING to do with science
I binge watch Friends (I just got Netflix which was a the best/worst idea)
I clean.
And my bad habit- I online shop.
(Rarely do I buy anything. But sales like Bloomingdale's friends and family 25% off. Bobbi Brown's friends and family 30% off, Nordstrom's price matching, or J.Crew Factory's 50% isn't helping. I did buy the most beautiful fun dress from Bloomingdale's for a wedding coming up.)

So this and next week, I might be a tad MIA. I'm alive. I promise. Just trying to get a doctorate that is slowly killing me. Thanks for being understanding!