Life lessons from shoveling snow

Today was another snowy day. Well it started out clear but around noon quickly turned into a constant snowfall. 10 hours later, still going strong. I came home to my parents house for the weekend. They live on 3 acres of land, partial woods, and next to a steep hillside. On that hillside is our driveway. In inclement weather, it makes getting up the driveway challenging. We have definitely driven across our front yard a few times from being unable to use the driveway. Classy, I know. While most of my neighbors have ATVs or four-wheelers, we do not. We have a rather large Kabota tractor with a plow. Unfortunately it is out of commission thanks to the last storm. So we went old-fashioned and actually had to shovel. My dad did the first round about 3 p.m. I was busy traipsing through the snow in my Hunter boots trying to get a few photographs before the dogs and sledding destroying the snowy blanket.  My dad, had half way cleared the driveway before he said "you have to do one section at time" and explaining his 'work smarter, not harder' approach to clearing the driveway of snow. I followed his instruction when I began shoveling around 4:45. My parents were off to an auction and we had an additional 2 inches of snow in two hours. They asked me to shovel again before they got home so that they could drive down the driveway. It was around 9 p.m. and I put my jacket and boots back on and headed back out to shovel. Before making my way out the door, I had started a blog post on my February favorites. But honestly, nothing really had changed from January and the month was so overwhelmingly stressful, it flew by. I didn't want to paint a picture that wasn't there. So I began to shovel at the bottom of the driveway. I made sure to angle the shovel and push the snow to side of the road.

As I continued to shovel, I kept thinking, "one section at a time, one section at a time." My mind started to wander towards school and research. Because I have put myself on an advanced timeline, my deadlines are quickly approaching. Proposals due in March, EcoLunch presentation in April, experiment deadlines with US Fisheries and Wildlife, drafts, and a final manuscript due by November. On top of that classes, exams, seminars, interview candidates, etc. It can feel very overwhelming. But thinking, "one section at a time." Putting into perspective what needs to be done now, what needs to be continually worked out, and what can be put off. Taking this program, one section, one study, one research project at a time.

You are going to slip and fall along the way. Trust me, I slipped quite a few times on the driveway. I only fell once. It was bound to happen. It happened this past week at school. I had been fighting my adviser about taking toxicology. "I didn't need to take it" I said until I was blue in the face. I had already had environmental toxicology and aquatic toxicology. Why should I take another class? Well he teaches the class so I ended up taking it. We took our first test over 12 chapters. If you get anything lower than an A in PhD school, you should be worried. I didn't get an A. The lowest grade in the class was a 39. Having to go into a meeting with my adviser and listen to "well aren't you glad you are taking this class" was painful. We get told constantly how smart we are by the professors, etc. But it's only the grad school students that will tell you "I feel like an idiot." I felt like one this past week. But just like falling on my driveway, I stood up, got better traction, picked up my shovel and continued on.

You might finish shoveling and look at where you began, it might be completely snow covered, and that's okay! It might seem like life can just be a constant cycle, in this case, you might ask "why would you shovel the driveway when it's just going to get covered with more snow?" Well, because. If I shovel a little bit now and a little bit later. It will be less difficult, less physically demanding, and more manageable. Just the same with life. I am overwhelmed. I am stressed out. I know I will be next week too. But It doesn't mean that I should give up and quit. If anything, the stress doesn't go away, but the tools to deal with these daily struggles are fine-tuned. Life doesn't get easier, you adapt.

Take the time to look around you. Halfway up the hill I stopped to look around. I can see a blanket of heavy snow laying across the large front yard, crackling trees for miles, a train whistle in the distance, and snow falling all around me. It's quiet. It's magnificently beautiful. Some days I forget to stop and be thankful for all the blessings that I do have. I focus on what I need to do in the future or what needs to be accomplished. I forget take it all in sometimes.

As I finished our driveway, I looked down the road to my neighbors drive. They are in their 80s and still active. But as I looked at their driveway, I thought, I don't want them to worry about shoveling out tomorrow. So I trudged down the road and began to shovel their driveway. And although its still snowing, at least their driveway will be a little more clear to maneuver out. So when life is kicking your ass, do something nice for someone else, to make their life a little easier.

Who knew you could learn so much from shoveling..

What I am Reading: February

In progress

Malcolm Gladwell: Outliers 

Finished

Nora Roberts: Dance Upon the Air

Nora Roberts: The Villa

Nora Roverts: Tonight and Always

Mary Balogh: Beyond the Sunrise

Johanna Lindsey: That Perfect Someone

Johanna Lindsey: Let Love find You

Lyndsay Sands: Sweet Revenge 

Favorites

Excited for my next trip to Barnes and Noble! 

Until next month

Let's talk about weight

Weight is a touchy subject. Understandably. I get almost daily updates on my facebook newsfeed about someone's weight loss (new diet/gym routine) or weight gain (expecting a baby). Exciting news that people want to document! It's never really been about numbers for me. I know people have an ideal weight- I tend to have an ideal range. I know if I look in the mirror and I am unhappy- that I need to do something about that. I also know that if I look in the mirror and I am happy, I should probably keep doing whatever I am doing, because it's working. That's where I usually taper off. My mom was never a "diet" person. She always worked out. She also encouraged us to work out and play sports year round. We were always active. We also had portion control and rarely soda in the house, etc. We ate at home most of the time, which would probably explain why I love fast food so much. The minute I got my drivers license, I would hit up every fast food chain on my way home. I was broke but it was great. I digress. We also never had scales in our house. I would probably only know my weight if I was at the doctors or at a friends where I saw a scale and curiously stood on it. I have never 'struggled' with my weight. I have struggled to keep muscle mass, tone, etc. I didn't really focus on weight, muscle, and health until college.

At a military college, we get evaluated for height and weight standards. Once a semester, I would have my height, weight, BMI, water weight, bone density mass, etc. measured. If you are over or underweight they put you on a health plan. You also have a physical fitness test once a semester as well which consists of pushups, situps, and a 2 mile run. You have to reach a certain number of pushups or situps in 2 minutes, the 2 mile had to be completed in 16-17 minutes. Needless to say, I was in the best shape of my life. My roommate was a health,education, sports science major who played D1 volleyball. She was basically my personal trainer. I normally weighed in around 122-125 lbs. Except for my knob year. Knob year, we really don't eat as much and the calories that we are taking in do not equal the amount that we are burning. I had a lot of proteins bars hidden during that first year. I dropped down to 106 lbs. I was literally bones and biceps. Once the upperclassmen realized I was ridiculously skinny and sick all the time, they began force feeding me. Typical guys, I had to eat a lot of eggs and ice cream sandwiches. The Citadel taught me amazing things about portion control, not needing so much food, and only eating until I barely got full. Enough to last me until the next meal. I never had soda, barely drank- (drinking calories is dumb), and I consistently trained. Being a SGT and later a commander, I did quite a bit of pushups each day with my subordinates. (Reps were 20 each time) On top of that, hitting the gym with my roommate KJ, where she would pull up Ipad workouts and smoke me. It was great! After graduating undergrad, I did something stupid. I stopped working out. I lost all that muscle mass and went down to 114 lbs for almost two years. I loved being so skinny and eating anything I wanted. I hate that I was easily sick, bruised like a peach, had no energy, and had zero strength. If I looked in the mirror and didn't like my abs. I would knock out 50 situps for a week until my six pack was back and continue on until the next time I didn't like my abs. It was/ is a vicious cycle. Now, I do daily or every other day stationary at my apartment. Situps, pushups, planks, flutterkicks, etc. Also whatever I find on pinterest that really interests me. I run but not as much. I really hate running. I walk the mile to and from campus and try to walk as much as possible. I hit the gym on the weekends doing an hour or hour and a half of cardio, weights, stationary. This morning was rowing, running, stairmaster, stationary, pullups, and weights. I also have the fitbit charge that I monitor for my daily distance, calories burned, heart beat, etc. However, I am still not happy with my body. I want to be back to my senior year of college fitness.

I weigh 128 as of this morning. So for Lent, I am going to do something I did for two years in college. I am going vegetarian twice a week. I would eat strictly veggies for the whole day. I had so much energy and felt great. I want to keep up with my workouts but I want to push the envelope and get over that hump. Since it is Lent for us crazy Catholics, I thought it would be the perfect time to kickstart this. We are supposed to abstain from meat on Fridays, so I will probably incorporate Tuesdays as well. You can't get anywhere by complaining about it. So I am doing something about it. I love my body but I know I can do better, starting today.

Check out my Pinterest for work out ideas!! 

Favorite Snacks

I love to eat. And because I have low blood sugar, I tend to eat once every 3-4 hours during the day. I have a lot of not so healthy eating habits like my closet addiction to fast food. But I like to keep my fridge stocked with really healthy foods so that when I need a quick snack, I grab for veggies or fruit. I normally shop at Trader Joes, Lucky's or Whole Foods. They have a lot of really great options for quick meals. But here are a few of my favorites.

Apple and Brie Cheese. A slice of brie and a slice of apple. Heaven.

Sesame bagel with creme cheese and salmon lox. 

Edamame 

Carrots and Marzetti Southwest Ranch

Roma Tomatoes and Mozzarella 

Trader Joes Flaxseed chips and homemade guacamole 

Snack Healthy!

Some recent OOTDs

Monogrammed Sweater: Etsy, Red Pants: old, Boots: Michelle D. Scarf: forever21

Sweater: JCrew Jeans: Forever 21, Necklace: Baublebar Flats: Bongo

Sweater: Banana Republic, Vest: JCrew Scarf: Forever21 Pants: Banana Republic, Boots: Montana

Sweater: JCrew, Pants: Banana Republic Boots: Lucky

Buffalo Plaid: old, Vest: JCrew Pants: Banana Republic, Boots: Michelle D, Scarf: Target

Valentine's Day

I have been struggling to put write a post about Valentine’s Day. It’s not that I am anti- Valentine’s Day. I am just more indifferent to it. It might stem from a childhood where my parents didn’t make a production of the day. My dad would get my mom flowers, a card, and a box of chocolate covered strawberries. He would also get my siblings and me a box as well.  They might make a nice dinner but I just have no memories of an elaborate spread or date night. I think they reserved those more for their anniversary, etc.  So from the environment I was raised in, I just don’t put much thought into the 14^th of February. I have been in relationships on and off for the past 6 years. I have received gifts like Tiffany’s, flowers, and dinner dates for Valentine’s Day. I have celebrated as a couple and single with my friends. I think one of my favorite memories was from college. My best friend/roommate and I were single, so we got each other presents and flowers. Our room had six bouquets of roses and flowers from friends and family. It was so much fun to have a friend date. Last year was S and my first Valentine’s Day and ironically our first official date among other things. I took him to a hole in the wall BBQ place by my house in Charleston. We had the best time. It wasn’t fancy; there were no frills or fuss. Just fun. This year, we have Mardi Gras and are spending the rest of the day/ night with friends. Our Valentine’s Day gifts to each other will be going to Barnes and Noble on Sunday and spending an hour picking out books that the other one will buy. Sounds great I know, and it is, for us. It’s a very “S and Rachelle” plan. For me, it’s more about spending time with him. So if you are a big Valentine’s Day lover, then have a wonderful day, enjoy it. Have a glass of champagne for me! But I think what I am going to do is leave a few quotes from a favorite book about love, relationships, and marriage. 

“I love him and therefore I want to protect him -- even from me, if that makes sense. I didn't want to skip any steps of preparation, or leave anything unresolved that might reemerge later to harm us -- to harm him.” 

“It’s the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.” 

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” 

“Sometimes life is too hard to be alone, and sometimes life is too good to be alone.”

 “Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love; it's more like love's shady second cousin who's always borrowing money and can't hold down a job.” 

“There is no choice more intensely personal, after all, than whom you choose to marry; that choice tells us, to a large extent, who you are.” 

“My love affair with (him) had a wonderful element of romance to it, which I will always cherish. But it was not an infatuation, and here’s how I can tell: because I did not demand that he become my Great Emancipator or my Source of All Life, nor did I immediately vanish into that man’s chest cavity like a twisted, unrecognizable, parasitical homonculus. During our long period of courtship, I remained intact within my own personality, and I allowed myself to meet (him) for who he was.”

“I had always been taught that the pursuit of happiness was my natural (even national) birthright. It is the emotional trademark of my culture to seek happiness. Not just any kind of happiness, either, but profound happiness, even soaring happiness. And what could possibly bring a person more soaring happiness than romantic love.”  (Silly me, I thought this for years)

“And even beyond the flaws, there are just some simple differences between Felipe and me that we will both have to accept. He will never—I promise you—attend a yoga class with me, no matter how many times I may try to convince him that he would absolutely love it. (He would absolutely not love it.) We will never meditate together on a weekend spiritual retreat. I will never get him to cut back on all the red meat, or to do some sort of faddish fasting cleanse with me, just for the fun of it. I will never get him to smooth out his temperament, which burns at sometimes exhausting extremes. He will never take up hobbies with me, I am certain of this. We will not stroll through the farmer’s market hand in hand or go on a hike together specifically to identify wildflowers. And although he is happy to sit and listen to me talk all day long about why I love Henry James, he will never read the collected works of Henry James by my side—so this most exquisite pleasure of mine must remain a private one.” 

Elizabeth Gilbert is my relationship Guru. 

Happy Valentine's Day 

What to Wear Series

I have had these red pants for a few years now. I cannot remember where I got them from but I rarely wear them. So with this whole 'no shopping for new clothes' month, I have been digging through my drawers and trying to put together new pieces instead of wearing the same thing each day. For me, I have all the individual articles of clothing but styling and putting together an outfit is not my strong point. I was a model for years, and I did well because someone always told me what to wear and how to wear it. Chartering into new territory, I wanted to showcase all the different ways I could wear my red pants. These options only coming from my clothes at my apartment. If I would have had my brown booties or my black tops, I would have incorporated them in as well. If this was a late spring look, I would pair the pants with a lace white top and tan sandals. Lots of options. Here are some ideas if you are stuck on what to wear with a colored pair of pants. With red pants, its safe to go with blues, browns, blacks, whites. (Note, sorry some of the shirts are wrinkled, I don't have a closet in my apartment so they are coming from my dresser) 

There are countless ways but I think by laying out options.

 It will be easier to have an idea of what works and what doesn't.

My Accidental No Makeup Day

               Normally I have a routine during the week. I get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, moisturize, put on foundation/ concealer, and head out the door to class or meetings. When I get back to my apartment, two hours later, I will put on my eye shadow, eyeliner, and mascara, basically finishing my makeup. I have been going pretty basic lately; just eyeliner and mascara, a touch of bronzer/blush, and finishing powder. This routine takes me little to no time and I am out the door. Each night when I get home, I use a makeup removing wipe, wash my face, and moisturize with a nighttime cream. And repeat. On the weekends, I am prone to not wear much makeup unless I am going out. This is a drastic change from a few months ago. I was wearing a lot of makeup. Trying to cover up acne scars, discoloration, uneven skin tone etc and it was just masking the issues and making me more and more unhappy with my skin. I do my homework on face products and although I have yet to breakdown and buy the Clarisonic (although I’m sure I eventually will), I found a product that has been mind blowing in its results. I included it in my January favorites but I didn’t talk about it. The Philosophy Vitamin C Turbo Booster. I started using the product a few weeks ago. It’s a daily topical powder (with the most adorable scooper) that you combine one scoop of the powder and a dime size amount of your morning moisturizer.

          The “benefits of a topical antioxidant—one of the gold standards of dermatology—is as simple as adding a little sprinkle of this easy-to-use vitamin C powder to your moisturizer. Featuring 99.8% potency, this treatment powder protects skin from one of the leading causes of premature aging—free radical damage—during the day. Vitamin C also gently lightens hyperpigmentation, for a more even and radiant complexion.” – Sephora Website   

          So like I said, I have been using this each morning. And I let it sink in before I put my foundation/tinted moisturizer mix on my face (mix is used to sheer out my foundation). Wow. I have noticed such a difference in my skin tone. I literally am shocked each day. So much so that I put my moisturizer and Vitamin C booster on Wednesday and completely forgot to put my makeup on. Nothing! I went until about 2 pm when I realized I didn’t have mascara on and then it dawned on me that I was naked. My face that is, was naked. I had a 3o second panic that all my imperfections were visible. And then I realized my skin was kind of glowy. And then the panic evolved into a feeling of relief. I went a whole day with no makeup. And no one said “are you sick?” “you look like hell” or gave me horrified looks. Nothing happened. I think I get so caught up in trying to have the perfect makeup and hide the imperfect underneath. And it was nice to have a no makeup day. Whether I planned it or not. I might start doing it once a week, give my skin a break. Enjoy my skin. Thanks Philosophy for giving me my glow back.

Check out my Instagram for a pic from two days ago when I went barefaced. PS it might look like I have eyeliner on, it’s tattooed on actually. I had the procedure done when I was 18 years old. 

January Favorites

J. Crew Herringbone Vest.

Nonstop staple in my vest rotation.

The Bachelor. Don't judge me.

 I haven't watched this in ages but this season is a total guilty pleasure!

Philosophy Turbo Booster C Powder.

The Fitbit. Charge HR. 

Monitors steps, calories burned, flights of stairs walked, sleep, heart rate, 

caloric intake, total distance each day. Very fun gadget to have!

Trader Joe's Gnocchi. 

Seriously amazing! 

Hope everyone had a great January. On to February. 11 days Until I see Steve :)