Turning 25

Twenty-five is when things start to change, begin to turn over --

 the slow march toward the machine of life. –Evelyn Lauer

I turned 25 last week and with a bit of reflection, these are a few things I have learned about myself in the past few years:

Friendship

I have learned over the years that people either love me or hate me. Nothing really in between. It used to really bother me if someone didn’t particularly like me. But the people pleasing side of me has evolved into an understanding that not everyone will like or be friends with me. I read a quote years ago that said “you can be the ripest, juiciest pear but someone is still not going to like pears.”

Outgoing Introvert

I can go out with friends and dance the night away or stay home in sweatpants and read a book, I promise you I am equally happy. Some might construe this as being a flaky friend when I choose my couch over a night out. But honestly, I like my quiet alone time equal to a dinner party or bbq with friends. Having friends that understand and are also quite similar also helps.

Yes, I am an adult

When I signed my first lease on my apartment, I thought “wait, am I old enough to do this?!” Turns out, I am. Being an adult comes with more and more responsibilities and you start doing things like furniture shopping, filing taxes, and paying off student loans. I still get a small thrill when I get a drink at the airport bar. I also enjoy when the bartender doesn’t believe that I am even 21- the baby face has its perks.

Relationships.

Gone are the days when it was my first serious boyfriend and relationship and I was fumbling through it. Was I doing the girlfriend thing correctly? What was I feeling? What was he feeling? Now things are so much more relaxed, comfortable. I have a more easy going approach to my love life.

Sex

As the girl who lost her virginity at 19, I am definitely so much more confident and comfortable in that field. I know what I like, what I want, and vice versa. Communication is such a key factor.

I can say NO.

I can say no, and I will probably still feel guilty about it. But “No” can be used as sentence.

Marriage.

My parents were married for three years and pregnant with my older brother at my age. I am just now feeling ready to get married. I have attended so many weddings in the past few years, I have evolved from enjoying myself at a great party to realistically seeing myself getting married in the near future. (Without having a panic attack)

Drinking.

I don’t have to drink to have a good time. If anything, I rarely drink more than one at a dinner or a bar. Alcohol makes me sleepy. And I don’t want to make an ass of myself at a bar or club, just to hear about it the next day while I nurse over an awful hangover. I did that at 21, I don’t need to do it again. It’s not cute. Also DUIs. If you can afford to drink, you can afford a cab home. I have worked way too hard to screw it all up with a DUI.

Money

Being smart about your finances is crucial. Credit card debt, loans, college loans are no joke. You might have been able to get by with a slip up when you were younger and your parents bailed you out, but having a savings, budgeting your money, etc. is really important for the future. Financial independence from your parents is the best feeling! 

Do something nice.

I try to do something nice for someone if not every day, every other day. Small simple gestures make the most impact. I do it for selfish reasons because helping others makes me feel good about myself.  When someone pays for your coffee, holds a door when your hands are full, helps you cross the street, you remember those times. It means something. I have really learned to appreciate the little things in life.

Taking things for granted

You never know if you are going to lose someone tomorrow. Whether a parent, grandparent, friend or a loved one. Don’t ever take the people you hold dear for granted. I get full on panic attacks thinking about if either of my parents died. It is definitely one of my biggest fears. I have had a few friends who have been through the loss of a parent this year and it really makes me reevaluate my relationships with my family members. 

Most importantly, I think I have learned that life will always go on. So I need to do what I love and surround myself with the people I love. I don't have the time or energy to devote on people that bring me down in life. I am just so thankful to have such an amazing support system and I have a feeling that the best is yet to come.