Thursday, March 19, 2015

What he really means.. Decoding breakup lines and excuses

Living with a few hundred men taught me a lot about dating, men, and men’s outlook on relationships. I am pretty good at understanding what they actually mean. However, I will be the supportive friend when my girlfriends have boy problems or are dumped. I won’t say, “Well, he said this and this, those are red flags. It’s over.” That’s not very nice; it’s true, but not nice. So here is a helpful guide on what it really means when guys tell you an excuse to end a relationship or a bullshit line to end things before the relationship began. Enjoy.


The Excuse: “It’s not you, it’s me.” (Or I have a lot of issues I need to work on now)
What it really means:
Such an cliché line. It basically means “It’s you. I am just not going to say that.” It’s a lot easier to let someone down if you put the blame on yourself instead of telling them that you just don’t like them.

The Excuse: “Our lives are going in different directions.” (We are in totally different places in life)
What it really means:
I can't see your future fitting into my future, and I don't want to make the effort to see if we can compromise and make things work..
The Excuse: “You're just so much more mature than me.”
What it really means:
I just want to party, hook up with random people, and not feel any responsibility towards you. At least he is being honest.

The Excuse: “I don't want you to get hurt.”
What it really means:
There might be some truth in this excuse, because if a guy liked you in the first place, he genuinely cares about your feelings, however, sounds like he is planning on hurting you, or he already has.
The Excuse: “I can’t do this anymore.”
What it really means:
This excuse basically works in every possible situation, and it doesn’t mean very much at all. Someone who gives you this line is either too lazy to come up with a legitimate reason or too much of a coward to be honest. What can’t they do anymore? Make an effort?

The Excuse: “I’m not really over my ex, so it’s not fair to you.”
What it really means:
Although he may very well still be hung up on his ex, if he liked you enough, this wouldn’t be a problem. Just call yourself the ‘rebound’ now.
The Excuse: “I'm not ready to be in a relationship.”
What it really means:
He may or may not want to be in a relationship right now… he just would rather be single than be with you
The Excuse: “I’m bringing you down."
What it really means:
Easy excuse, used to convince you that he is a negative influence.

The Line: I am just not ready for a relationship right now, but if I were, you’d be the one.
What it really means:
One person commitment or as Will Ferrell puts it “one vagina for the rest of my life?” If  I was ready for that kind of commitment, you MIGHT be the person.

The Line: I still really care about you.
What it really means:
I care but just not enough to spend time or be with you.

The Line: I’d love to still be friends and hang out after all this.
What it really means:
Can we be friends with benefits? Or is it okay if I hook up with your friends?

The line: It has been so great getting to know you, but I think we need to spend time with other people.
What it really means:
I don’t want to talk or spend any time with you. Just other people.

The line: I am feeling smothered, I just need some space.
What it really means:
You are way too clingy and into my business- way too fast. You need to back off.

The line: I feel like you’re more of a friend than a girlfriend.
What it really means:
My attraction to you is really going downhill. Officially friend-zoned.

The line: I think we got too close too fast.
What it really means:
You are freaking me out with your plans, staying at my place every night, and leaving stuff at my apartment. We are not there yet.

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