Sharing Holidays

Well, as a couple, S and I survived our first holiday together. When we first started going out, I refused to share holidays- I wanted him to go see his family and I would be at mine. I had been in enough relationships, where I would give up Christmas, New Years, or Thanksgiving with my family to be with my boyfriends and their families. So after 5 years of doing this, I was becoming resentful of having to "give up" my family time to be a good and compromising girlfriend. I didn't want to resent S or his family so I just decided that until we were married, we wouldn't share holidays. He disagreed. After a few months of reflection, I realized I was being selfish and for the first time in all my relationships, our families are located in the same city! Thank God! I could go to both family events and not feel like I was missing out on my family or neglecting his. So this Thanksgiving, we started the morning off with a coffee run to Starbucks in the freezing St. Louis temperatures. We then drove to his grandmother's assisted living home in Illinois. I love older people, I am very comfortable and mesh well in the "nursing home" environment. I was perfectly fine until I got there, and a wave of sadness rushed over me. My Poppy (my great-grandfather) recently passed and it's still a little raw for me. But I pushed all the sadness aside, put a smile on my face and powered through. His grandmother is a spit fire. I had met her before and was pleasantly surprised she remembered me. We went through S and his twin P's baby pictures (adorable), she gave me a tour of her place and introduced me to her friends as "S's friend who better become his wife if he's smart." It was cute. After a few unplanned detours, we made it to my boyfriend's parent's home. We had a wonderful lunch filled with family, toasts, laughs, and turkey. When food coma was settling in, we ventured out for another round of Starbucks and to Thanksgiving #2: his extended family. It ended up being a bonding time for his immediate family and I. I had met most of his extended family at a previous wedding but I met the remainder and was promptly invited to Christmas. It was such a fun time with the little ones running around, many twenty-somethings and newlyweds, and the older generations delving into the wine. We had a nice talk with S's mom about our relationship, I think she was genuinely surprised at how solid our relationship is after hearing a few things that we do to strengthen and solidify our commitment. It's always a complement when someone who does pre-cana tells you that you are beyond your years in communication and compatibility. She gave a joint hug at the end told us that she loved us and started tearing up with a smile. There were a few hilarious points of the night- although I don't know if I am allowed to share so maybe another time. We were supposed to head to my aunt's house for dessert but we ended up meeting my family at my parents. They brought us home a big slice of my mom's apple pie. It was the perfect ending to a busy day. We sat by the fire, ate pie, while my sister tried to jump on us. S always rubs my back or my hair. He knows it's my favorite. So as we lay in bed recapping our day, and your's truly started tearing up talking about my Poppy, he pulled me in close, kissed my forehead, and lazily rubbed my back. I can't ask for a better guy.. He's my world.

So in Thanksgiving form, I give thanks for his never-ending support and love, my wonderful family whom I told S's dad- "My parents are the coolest", my new PhD friends, ending some chapters in my life, starting new ones, and that although my Poppy is no longer with us, he is looking down on me, reminding me to smile and not be sad.

Happy Thanksgiving