Frugal February

So what's Frugal February, and why February? The idea behind Frugal February is to try to adopt as many money saving ideas as you can during this month, such as spend-free days, not eating out, etc., and live as cheaply as possible. Try to eliminate all non-essential spending and only spend money on necessities. Why February? Mainly because it's the shortest month and that gives you the best chance of success. Most salary earners get paid the same amount of money each month, irrespective of the number of days actually worked. Of course, you can do this at any stage of the year, but your chances of maximizing your pay are greater in February due to the three fewer days. Also, 'Frugal February' sounds a lot funkier than 'Frugal September'. – MoneyHabits.com

As I kick off Frugal February. I wanted to evaluate my spending. This past month, I had to pay my car insurance and a few other bills. It killed me. I am saving up for a car currently and a few other future purchases. I also will be traveling throughout the year so I prefer to have some cushion in my bank account. Shopping is my weakness, my Achilles heel. Rough day, good day, doesn’t matter- I get this crazy urge to hit up the store whether grocery store, mall, or Target. Amazing how that feeling and rush I get magically subsides with the swipe of my debit card. But as much as I love shopping, this month I am keeping a budget for essentials. And although I have been able to live on as low as $12 a week minus gas of course, I don’t particularly like to. I tend to let my groceries fluctuate. Right now, I am stocked for the next week so need for trips to Trader Joes and Lucky’s. We shall see how frugal February goes. And btw I know V-Day is coming up. I am not a gushy girl about the 14^th of February. So my boyfriend and I will be hitting up Barnes and Noble and buying each other a few books. Not in my breakdown, because I’m an adult, and sometimes I do what I want.

Here is a breakdown of what I normally spend:

Gas: $20-$25 per week

Groceries: $20-30 per week

Bar tab: (half off drinks every Thursday night) $5 per week

Rent: $700 a month 

If you are embarking on Frugal February, Good luck!

 This is going to be a tough few weeks but we've got this!! 

Lauren James Co.

When I was living down south everyone rotated between: Lilly Pulitzer, Southern Tide, Southern Proper, Vineyard Vines, Southern Shirt Co, Southern Marsh, etc. You get the picture. Being a transplant down south for six years of school and spending 24 years of vacations in Charleston, does not make me a southerner. I understand that. And living there for long enough, with my periodic Midwest accent coming out, southerners have a tendency to remind you that you are not, in fact, from the south. This is fine. It was only annoying when I was referred to as a Yankee, because actually the Mason Dixon Line does not extend to Missouri. And while I did enjoy living in the south, I never pretended I was a southern bell. I might have owned a few pieces of Lilly Pulitzer and a pair of Jack Rogers, I might have worn a lot more cotton white, pastel, and/or seersucker dresses, and I might have secretly envied the Barbour jackets that each of the College of Charleston girls wore in the winter. But I was content with my fashion choice and the budget in which I lived with. As I have moved away, companies like Southern Shirt Company and Lauren James Company have taken off. And now that I live in the Midwest again, I do miss my sweet tea, weekly jaunts to the beach, and Chik-fil-A on every corner. Maybe it’s a bit of nostalgia  but I own more southern shirts now than I did when I lived in Charleston, SC. And all of them are from Lauren James Co. Not only do they have great discounts throughout the year, the quality of their product, fast shipping, and customer service is untouchable. I have ordered/ received a few shirts and koozies from them. Adore them. Today they are having a 40% off in honor of the owner, Lauren’s birthday. Code: HBDLAUREN Hurry up and stock up, the discount expires at midnight! And check back for their Spring 2015 line! I am so excited to see the new arrivals! 

 Long Sleeve Tees  $36

 Koozies $5

They also have hats, prints, dresses, shorts, short sleeve sweet tees, etc.

Check out their website, instagram, and twitter!

Hope you love this sweet company as much as I do!! 

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something I struggle with. I do not forgive easily. I also do not forget. A folly against me is engrained in my brain until the end of time. The hurt turns to frustration, anger, and eventually a grudge. But even when that slowly secedes, I still am hurt. And that isn’t easy to forgive.

Friends.

I think my biggest struggle is being angry at someone for something they did or said, and they have no clue that their actions were hurtful. This can escalate when I start to wonder if they knew they were being intentionally rude, mean, or downright nasty and play the “innocent card”. And in the same hand, the people that say “I’m sorry you felt that way” or “I am sorry you took it that way.” Not “I am sorry what I said was inappropriate.” That apology will never come. It definitely shows someone’s immaturity when they cannot take ownership for their words or actions. You cannot control how others act; you can control how you react and who you surround yourself with.

Family.

I have had an ongoing battle, an unspoken battle, with two family members for years. So much so, that it was an almost estrangement. What they were doing, saying, and more importantly neglecting to do, was unforgiveable. Never in my mind would I or could I act like they were. And because it was family, it was that more upsetting. Because I was raised with intense morals and ethics, my parents taught me, you might not agree with what they are doing, but you must respect them. And I have. But my heart hurts for those affected by their selfish actions. I cannot understand or comprehend how they feel justified in their actions. And as much as I love them, it will always be a wedge. It will always been in the back of my mind. How can I forgive them for something so unimaginable in my mind?

Relationship.

When you enter into a relationship, you are vulnerable. You open yourself up for hurt, pain, but more importantly love. And when you realize that love isn’t real after months (years) of trying and you decide to leave the situation, why is it then that the apology comes? Why is it that you have to find out that your then-boyfriend had been cheating on you for the entire time you were together? Even better it was with people that you knew. That the bruises he left on your arms from grabbing you when he was drunk, were somehow your fault? That each time he hurt you, he promised never to do it again. And you stupidly believed him.  It takes a long time to forgive other people and an even longer time to forgive yourself. Here is an honest fact. I will never forgive him. I am slowly forgiving myself.

How do you forgive, when the damage has been done?

My week of Vests

VEST: Lands End + Monogram

Top: Forever 21

Jeans: Forever 21

Boots: Lucky 

Necklace: Francescas

VEST: J.Crew 

Top: Lauren James Co Long Sleeve Tee

Pants: Banana Republic

Flats: JCPenny's 

VEST: Old Navy

Top: Bohicket Marina long sleeve T

Pants: Banana Republic

Boots: Ralph Lauren

VEST: Ann Taylor

Top: Old Navy

Bottoms: Banana Republic Factory 

Boots: Lucky

VEST: Ann Taylor

Top: Citadel 'Big Red' long sleeve

Pants: Banana Republic

Boots: Montana

Enjoy! 

Big fish, small Pond

Grade school: 26 classmates. 

High School: 99 classmates. 

College: starting 755, graduating 348 classmates, 23 from my discipline.  

Masters: 122 classmates, 8 from my discipline. 

PhD: 6,500 other grad students, 20 classmates in my cohort, 35,000 undergrads.

Up until my PhD, I have been living in a few small ponds. My class sizes in grade school were larger than my college and master’s degree class sizes. There were a few classes where there would be six students and one professor. They knew us by name, details about my life, my goals, what professors I was working with, etc. They knew me. I was never so thankful for that support and personal attention until I attended my first few days of my PhD. Sure, most of my classes are 15-18 students, but as a whole, this university is HUGE! There are people everywhere, all the time. Here, they ask me what my student number is (which I have no clue) almost daily. Here, I have to chase people down for registration, enrollment, grant/ stipend issues. And because everyone is so busy, you are not a priority. “They will get to it.” It is one of the most frustrating things to encounter. Case and point, two weeks ago I realized that I was not enrolled in the classes I registered for. As it turned out, the cashiers department put a hold on my account because I had an outstanding balance. Now the great thing about getting a PhD is that it’s free. No tuition or incidentals comes out of my pocket, my grant and fellowship pays for it. So this outstanding balance had nothing to do with me but with the administration of my department. After daily emails and even a few meetings, my paperwork was being continually passed around. No one knew who to talk with so that my issue was fixed. It was now a few days before class was to begin. Again, I continually followed up, “just checking to see what the status is….” The response “so and so has to sign off on it, then so and so has to enter it in the system.” Very. Frustrating. Today, the first day of the semester, I was still not enrolled in my classes. Five hours of badgering phone calls, meetings, emails. I am finally enrolled in my classes, the balance is paid, the hold is removed. I profusely thanked those who actually assisted me in getting this taken care. Something that should never have happened in the first place. But every phone call, every email, there was never “hi, what can I help you with?” Nope, I got “what’s your student number” as my greeting. The beauty of being a ‘big fish in a small pond’, is that relationship, that personal and personable relationship. And I understand readers will think, “oh, you chose a big school.” Yes, I chose the program and the benefits of a government position. Because I know that in the long run, being a small fish in a big pond is only temporary.  That working at CERC allows me to still be a big fish in a small pond. And I know that I am my strongest advocate, and badgering and probably being downright annoying got things accomplished. So I guess my takeaway from my last two weeks is, make sure you are a big fish in your own pond, and remind everyone in the big ponds that you are a freaking largemouth bass. 

Marc Jacobs Polish Review

Marc Jacobs Beauty Enamored Hi-Shine Nail Lacquer in Madame.

 I got this nail polish in a gift set from Sephora for Christmas. First of all, I am not a 'splurge on your nail polish' kind of girl. I am perfectly content picking up one of the 99 cent baby polishes from Sally's Beauty Supply. But periodically I will break down and buy an Essie or OPI. I finally get what all the hype is about. From the application, the color, and the lasting power of this polish, I have been blown away. I love the way it looks so effortlessly chic and classic. I couldn't be more thrilled! Yes, it is pricey, but it is definitely worth it. I have had two coats of on for two weeks with little to no chipping. Most of my polishes are cracked and rough looking at two weeks. I work a lot with my hands so I know that if a polish can survive two weeks- it's a keeper. So if you are in the market to buy a new 'nude', check out the Marc Jacobs line. 

What I'm Reading..

Picture Above and Below: a bit of my book collection 

I normally read or reread between 4-6 books a month, give or take depending. After reading The Fault in Our Stars, I was so distraught and traumatized, I didn't read for a few weeks. I was in a book coma. I have always loved reading. My version of Disney Land is spending hours in Barnes and Noble. I was reading books on my own at 3 (my brother at 5 was learning to read and I wanted to do everything he did). I didn't seriously start reading novels until around 8. I remember the first time I discovered romance novels. My mom had a collection of historical romance novels under the sink in my parents bathroom. I read my first one and was instantly hooked. If you have never read historical romance or romance in general, it is nothing like 50 Shades of Grey. There is no bondage or dominance/submission. It is always a strong female character and always a happy ending. I also read other genres, but I mostly stick to romance and chick lit fiction. I NEED the closure. Books are a great way for me to escape the day to day craziness. I probably won't cover my romance novels because the genre makes some people uncomfortable but a few of my favorite authors are Julie Garwood, Johanna Lindsey, Christina Feehan, Nora Roberts.

What I am reading now..

What I bought today to read next.

What I just finished (+ four other books)

kind of slow starting, then at the end it was awesome! 

Quotes from Chaos of Stars..

Enjoy reading!